Eulogies

Words of Remembrance
Shannon Knackstedt

As a long-time family friend of the Knackstedt family, I am pleased to have been asked to deliver these words of remembrance, and celebration of the lives of Shannon and Jemma. But these words are actually the offering of a whole community. I have written them after spending several hours interviewing close family members and friends of all ages.

I met the Knackstedts when they moved into the house next door about fifteen years ago. Jemma was 6, and my daughters were 7 and 9. The three girls played together through their elementary school years, and Shannon and I enjoyed many late-night bottles of wine (I mean “glasses of wine” of course) – out on her patio, or around the kitchen table when our children and husbands were long asleep.

We lived and learned and laughed together, and shared both tears and times of spiritual reflection when on more than one occasion, mutual friends became seriously ill and subsequently died. Eleven years ago I was diagnosed with cancer – just before Shannon left on a cruise. In a few days I received a card and a small gift in the mail. The card said simply, “Dear Anna. I’m laying on a deck chair watching the most beautiful sunset and I thought to myself, ‘if God can make something so beautiful, surely he can heal you of your cancer.’” Well, healed I was, by a God who was clearly embodied that day in the deep love of this woman who fully embraced and lived out Divine love.

Shannon was born in Vancouver in 1957. Her mother says she came into the world quickly, almost born in the car, so eager she was to arrive into the loving and close family which she enjoyed throughout her life. She grew up in Surrey, where she met school friends that she has remained loyal to, and cherished, unto this very day. She met her husband, August, when she was 11 years old. They eloped when they were just 18 and 19.

August loved her deeply, and treated her well. He did most of the cooking, took her on trips, brought her flowers every week. He describes Shannon simply, yet genuinely, as “the kindest person I have ever met.” I have perhaps spoken to over 100 people in the last 2 weeks, and every last one of them repeats the same thing. Shannon personified kindness, goodness, and generosity. She was a ceaselessly joyful person. Her joy shone from her smile, and radiated the room. There was no person whom she met and encountered that did not remember her, and remember her fondly.

Shannon was the anchor for her large family – the magnet, the nucleus, the center. She worked half-time in August’s roofing business, and the rest of her life she devoted to building and maintaining relationships with family and friends ensuring that everyone lived life to the fullest and enjoyed themselves. Her door was always open; you were always welcome; no matter who you were, if you were a friend of Shannon, you were her best friend. I may have heard 50 people this week tell me that Shannon was their best friend, and what are they going to do now – who will they go to for support, now that she’s gone.
Shannon organized everyone, and all occasions – proactively so. “All arrangements flowed through Shannon.” All the get-togethers, parties, reunions, birthday, trips, and celebrations. Shannon brought people together.

She got up early and stayed up late. She was never alone – there was always someone visiting her, or going with her to visit someone else. She made time for every single person in her life. I can honestly state that I never once heard her utter the emblematic cry of the 21st century “I’m so busy”.

Auntie Shannon was the nicest aunt ever, say her numerous nieces and nephews. She always bought ice cream, and if there was no time to do so, she gave them money for it. She made kids run around the car screaming before a long car trip. She bought presents for other kids on Jemma’s birthday. One of her very young nephews said to me, “auntie Shannon was never mad.” …. wow… that’s really something to say about a person.

Shannon had a joy and zest for life that was probably unmatched by anyone. Someone said she lived 2 ½ lifetimes in 50 short years. She loved books as much as people – she must have done her reading between midnight and 4 am! But mostly she loved FUN. Good clean fun, I might add – if there is such a thing today! You know what I mean – traveling, eating, laughing, telling stories, gambling, skydiving …laughing, laughing….laughing.

Shannon’s greatest gift to her family and friends was her incredible ability to listen. She listened to me on more than one occasion prattle on nonsense about whatever I was doing at my church or what I was writing about. Her eyes would light up with joy as she listened with genuine interest to your story. She made everyone feel special – that what they were telling her was important and interesting. And she would follow up with these conversations weeks or months later: how’s your mom doing now – is she out of hospital? how’s your job going; how’s the book coming...?

Shannon saw the good in every person. No one ever heard a mean or bad thing come out of her mouth about anybody. She truly felt good when other people succeeded – a rare thing indeed.

Shannon’s family and friends deeply mourn the loss of her. Here are a few of their words which I recorded last week:

 I am the luckiest person in the world that she was part of my life
 If only I had one more time to see her and say… “thank you. You’ve affected my life”.
 I have to learn to be better at who I am because she taught me that.
 When I can’t think of “what would Jesus do”, honestly, I ask myself “what would Shannon do?”
 She was almost too special for words
 We are better people because Shannon was in our lives.

Words of Remembrance
Jemma Knackstedt

After the family met with me for about an hour last week talking about Shannon, and all had been said, I asked: “now tell me about Jemma”. There was some silence, and then her sister, Justine, simply said: “she was just like her mother”…
…which is an amazing thing, and an incredible thing, and pretty much sums it up.

I was also pleased to have sat down with Jemma’s much-loved boyfriend of three years, Dan, or “D” and several of her closest friends, to prepare these words of remembrance of her.

When Jemma was a little girl she was sweet and funny and loved to do musical theatre productions with my girls in the back yard. We have the entire musical The Lion King on video – performed by just three little girls. I must say that I’ve lost touch with Jemma in the past 6 years since we moved to Richmond, and I had no idea until now what a lovely young woman she grew up to be. As a young girl she loved the movie ET and had to watch a bit of it before going to bed each night, clutching her ET doll. She loved her mom, loved to cuddle up beside her and be with her. She was also very attached to her grandma, and checked in on her when her mom was away to see if she needed anything.

Jemma attended Bradshaw Elementary school and Brookswood High School where she made a huge circle of friends to whom she remained intensely loyal to the day she died. When she died she was wearing a T-shirt in memory of her friend Keith Dickinson who died just two short weeks earlier.

Jemma was kind and generous to, and was loved and admired by, her circle of friends and held the group together just like her mother did with her friends. As an example of what a dramatic difference it made to have Jemma in your life, she was working at a restaurant in Langley when she died, and it closed for 2 days, so struck were the other workers with grief and loss.

As a tribute to Jemma I have put together a list – a sort of picture – of her qualities and quirks that people loved about her….compiled from the words of the people whose lives she touched with her all-too-short life. Here’s the list:

 She was tough as nails with a soft interior – a perfect combination of her mother and father.
 She’d go out of her way to help someone
 She always stood up for the underdog
 She loved shoes, and shopping – particularly for a bargain.
 She had expensive taste in food
 When she was young, she had to check out the bathrooms every place she went
 She tap danced, and played ball, and watched her favorite movies dozens of times over
 She was outspoken and liked a good argument – but she couldn’t leave unless it was all resolved and everyone was happy
 She didn’t sugar-coat anything
 She never went to bed mad, and never left a place when anyone else was mad – until everyone was reconciled.
 She cried every time her boyfriend Dan went away to work
 She always cooked for everyone, and brought food to friends who’d just moved into their own place and had little to eat.
 She got mad if you touched her cooking before it was ready
 After a party she would stay up and clean the person’s entire house so they’d wake up to a nice clean house. And not just the party stuff – she’d clean the bathrooms and everything – stuff unaffected by the party.
 She was organized, paid bills, kept things all in file-folders
 She sent steaks from the keg back at least once, sometimes 3 times until they were done to perfection
 You could always hear her when she came in a room yelling “HI!” and she’d hug every single person
 She called everyone on their birthday – sometimes at 8 am: “Wake up! It’s your birthday!”
 She spent hours in a day text-messaging and keeping in touch with everyone. She could text-message with incredible speed!
 She bit her nails
 She played with her bellybutton
 She put ranch dressing on everything
 She wouldn’t let people in the room be upset – she’d poke at you ‘til you smiled
 She remembered every little story and every word anyone ever spoke!
 She loved her parents and her sister very much
 She helped one of her friends graduate by walking her to class and forcing her to go. When another friend was nearly expelled, she argued his case with administration, and won.
 She kept ticket stubs and Playland tickets and souveniers
 She helped people get jobs, if she could
 She was very Romantic; she kept every flower that Dan ever gave her
 Her male friends say “she was a mum to all of us; she took care of us all”.
 She meant a lot to a lot of people
 She was the best; she’ll never be forgotten


Rev. Anna S. Christie
September 5, 2007